Parenting Fail

Just like every other mediocre parent out there, I forget to watch what comes out of my mouth while in the company of my three year old. Most of the time I don’t even notice it, and I think that’s because she doesn’t blurt out “Oooooh mommy you just said a bad word”, or whatever little three year old tattle tales who know not to cuss blurt out. It’s as if she hears me curse, stores it away silently in a memory file titled “save for later” in her little brain, waiting for the perfect opportunity to use it. Then, naturally when her pretty little mouth utters this filth, I’m like WHERE THE FUCK HECK DID YOU LEARN THAT MISSY? Please tell me I’m not alone here..


Just the other day she was banging a toy on the kitchen table, so after about 341234 times of telling her STOP IT PLEASE, I reached over and grabbed the toy and put it away. You guys…you should have seen her face. She looked at me the way I used to look at my mom when she was ruining my life by not letting a friend sleep over in the 5th grade…You know, all “How dare you, biatch..I’m totally calling CPS and telling them you hate me.” – And my mom was all like “Go ahead sweetheart, but I got news for you…They’re gonna take YOU away, not me…so have fun with your creepy new foster siblings…”

I digress

So she looked at me with this face that I’ll never forget, then her eyes got all shifty and she said:

What the…

What the…(her eyes still shifty…like she was racking her brain for the “save for later” file…)

What the…

What the HELL?!

FACE PALM! These moments are bound to happen, all I can do about it is correct them firmly, and thank God it didn’t happen in front of her Grandmother….

What are some of your recent parenting fails?


4 thoughts on “Parenting Fail

  1. Funny how when your child acts up and it is time for you to respond with something witty and ground breaking; one always seems to respond with something that sounds like your parents! There are a lot of clever comedic types out there. Someone should write a book with witty phrases to say to your child right after you catch them committing some act of jack assery.


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