What’s today? Sunday? Okay, all my days are a blur. So if today is Sunday, then this story is about Friday. Yes Friday. Definitely not yesterday(yikes). Back to Friday…
Friday was by far the shittiest day I’ve had in a while. It started when I woke up, checked my bank account, and almost threw up simultaneously. This was the check that was effected by my absence of work/no more sick time, due to the neck injury that spurred this blog/revolution. You know that moment when you hear the absolute worst news in the world, and your stomach drops, and you get light-headed and dizzy? Maybe even sweat a little, and start frantically searching for that blood pressure medicine you were prescribed, but never take, so you aren’t quite sure of its exact location. Yup, that was me.
The thought of my horrifying checking account balance stayed right at the front of my mind while I got Lilly and myself dressed, and out the door to drop her off with her Aunt Pilar for the day while I was off to work. I tried so hard to concentrate at work. I did good at eating no sugar, even at one point taking candy away from my desk, and gifting it to a non dieting co-worker. I did however at the end of my day, give in to some Pizza, which just happened to be from said non dieting co-worker. I ate more than I should have. I had been good all day, and yet I felt defeated.
I text Dan earlier in the day, telling him he to be ready to hug me when I got home, because this day just plain sucked and I was in need of an embrace. When I walked in the door, there he was, looking so sweet…
Passed out on the couch.
I tried to wake him up by making noise, ripping open a package we had received along with some holiday cards that came in the mail, and even turned up the TV, but he was out.
I called Blaine, she didn’t answer.
I haven’t gone to the gym without her, as the thought of being alone there isn’t something I’m quite yet comfortable with.
After a good 15 minutes, I said fuck it. I needed to run. Run away all of the days problems and stresses. Run away the thought of getting paid practically nothing right before the holidays. Sure Dan has a job, but we rely on two incomes, not just his. Run away that horrible feeling. Just run.
Never in my life, the fat one nor the skinny one, have I ever wanted to run. In my prior being, I didn’t run away stress, I ate it away. This is an amazing revelation. My mind is being changed for the better. Which makes up for the lack of physical results I have yet to notice. When I was done, I got on the scale in the gym. 10 pounds lost. Ah-mazing feeling. Best in the world. Money can’t buy that kind of happiness. Which is convenient, considering at the moment, I have none.
And about yesterday, let’s just say it involved a DQ Blizzard, a holiday party with mexican food, and good friends. AKA me, fallen off the wagon. I’m back at it today though! Healthy eating today, and the gym tonight!
Also, a HUGE thank you to my readers and followers. This started out just being a blog for me and Blaine to look back on some day, but you’re comments are inspiring, and if any of this is motivating any of you, then I am proud.